Mental health is a subject that hits home for me. I wanted to take some time to share my story in hopes of being able to help someone who may be going through the same thing I was; or encourage a friend to take action on reaching out to a person in their life they may be concerned about. I have always been someone that likes to help other people with their problems. I would like to think that I have always been a person my friends feel comfortable talking to when they are in need of advice. When I think about why that is, I believe it is because I take the time to listen, analyze, sympathize, and give logical feedback. I do not just say, "I'm sorry", or "it will all work out eventually". Then, I think about why I am that way, and it is because I know what it is like to not have it all together. I know what it is like to be on the other end wishing for someone to take the time to genuinely listen to what I have to say and how I feel. Since as long as I can remember, I have been a worrier. "It is in my DNA," it is "apart of my personality". Some people think it can be funny, some people think it is just who I am. Worrying about things out of my control, asking a million questions, accessing all scenarios, creating situations in my head, thinking of "what if", saying "no" more than saying "yes" in fear of what will happen; those were all things that started to take over my life. While being a person that worries a lot can be apart of someone, it should not have to consume them. Being seen as a worrier to people is one thing, but there is a lot that cannot be seen to the eye. And that is the reason I wanted to write this. There is a stigma to mental health, and it is important to me that people realize how detrimental it can be to someone, and it is not something to just brush off. I use to always think I was just in my head and I over thought things but in reality it was fine, I was just being "too much". Well... I've come to realize anxiety is not a personality trait, it is a mental disorder. "You are fine", "stop overthinking it", "you are worried about nothing". Statements I have personally heard a million times in my life. While people saying that could be 100% right, it does not change what is going on in someone's head. Someone telling a person to "calm down" is not going to make them "calm down" miraculously. Again, growing up, I always thought I was fine and I just needed to stop over thinking. But how do you know when you are not actually fine? Overthinking started to consume me and inhibit me in my every day life. How can that be normal? I thought, "Do other people think the things I do? As much as I do?" There were days I would sit in my classroom and look around, stand in the gym and look around, sit in a restaurant and look around... I would sit there and wonder the things going on in everyone else's head. I would wonder if they ever thought the things that I did in that moment. Did they think about death since being there? Did they worry about their parents? Did they worry about their own health? Were they thinking about a comment someone said to them earlier? Were they too anxious to carry on a conversation? Were they worried about the food they were about to consume? This past year there were times I would be sitting in a classroom, listening to a lecture, and would be worried about death. To me, this did not seem normal. It was not something that someone could talk me out of. There were times I would not be able to go to bed until 5am, because my mind was too busy racing, or I would feel off sensations in my body that lead to a panic attack. But I would wake up in the morning and put on a smile, and no one knew what had happened the night before; and to them, I was fine. I would think, "ok so this is happening soon and that will make me happy and cure everything". For example, studying abroad. How could someone not be the happiest person in the entire world when they are studying abroad in Italy for four months??? I wanted to study abroad so badly to "find myself". I thought I would come back a completely different person (which to an extent, I did). But moving across the world for four months did not not mean I could simply start a new life and leave all my problems back home. I had contemplated seeking help for a long time. But when I would have a good day, I would convince myself that I actually was fine. Maybe I would never feel like that again... Then it does happen, and I am not fine. But there is that feeling of embarrassment in admitting that I may need help because I do not have control over my own body and mind. I came to the realization where I needed to take care of myself first instead of always doing what I'm "suppose" to be doing. I needed to put me first, and my happiness first before I figure(d) out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I needed to take care of my health both physically and mentally. I saw a post that said, "You're killing yourself for a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead. Take care of yourself." Think about it... As a suggestion, try being a little more concerned about how people are doing, not always what they are doing. What I have to say about this is that happiness comes from within. It does not come from others. It does not come from dropping your entire life and starting over completely new. Other people and distractions can help you be happier momentarily, but the only way to be truly happy is to be happy with yourself. So if you are struggling with some kind of mental health problem, and you are trying to convince yourself that you're okay, but deep down, you know you aren't, it is okay to ask for help. If you are noticing a friend that has been acting different lately, do not shun them. Ask them how they are doing. Don't just say, "is everything okay?" Seriously reach out to them and ask real questions, and do not make them feel like a burden. Like all things, it takes time, there is no quick fix. Whether you find help through medicine, therapy, eating healthy, being active, doing yoga, anything... reaching out and vocalizing your thoughts, feelings, and concerns to someone around you, is a good first step in the right direction. And if you ever need someone to talk to when you feel like there is no one, always feel free to reach out to me :) Life gets busy, but don't forget to take a step back, appreciate what you do have while also taking a mental check on yourself, and making sure you're doing okay, too... - Jen Suggestions on how to stop normalizing mental health disorders/normalizing offensive words:
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness
0 Comments
|